Over the past few weeks I've wrote a few blog posts, ones that will be kept for myself, memories of this beautiful and heart-stealing journey. It's been nearly two months since Joe and I made our announcement, what a freeing feeling it was to us to finally tell you all. We have felt your support and love from near and far, thank you for believing in our dream. We covet your prayers as we wait and prepare for our heart-grown child. I am anticipating how God will write this story.
Over the past month and a half Joe and I devoted our prayers and thoughts daily to a potential match... it amazed us how drawn we were to them even though we had never met. I began to pray like they were my own, that God would guard their heart, heal their wounds and that they would experience the love of Jesus. We also prayed for their future parents...hoping that God might grant us that role. Such a new experience for me to desire to be a mama...seriously, I had never felt this way. We found out yesterday that they had been matched...I knew the outcome when I saw the look of sadness wash over Joe's face as he answered the phone and received the news. Bittersweet. Such happiness and sadness all mashed together in one. Tears began to fall as disappointment set in, how frustrated I felt that I allowed my heart to be entangled in something so unsure, I mean comon' Angela you knew this was a crazy, far out shot.
I am not devastated... my prayers weren't in vain. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to pray.
God is growing our hearts, this is just the beginning.
Adoption Status update:
We had home study visit number three yesterday, Yay! We're hoping to complete this part of the process in a month or so. Please pray with us that it happens sooner than later...we are struggling to be patient. :)
Angela
2 comments:
It is so hard to lose a child/children that you have become attached to, even if you've never met them. We had one instance early on in the adoption process where we requested to adopt a child and another family also wanted to adopt him. The other family was chosen for him and it was really hard. Now that we have been matched with our son, I can see how God led us to him, but the journey wasn't easy! I hope your homestudy is done soon!
Thank you Katie, I almost felt crazy for allowing myself to become so attached,it's encouraging just to know others have been there as well. I am praying for your family and cannot wait till you have your son! blessings!
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